We live in a virtual world of modern technological progress, inventions, capitalism, entertainment industry, fierce competitive struggle, restless running from one “important” distraction to another,..
We are filling our mind with a variety of informations in the hope that it will bring us more knowledge in this hard fight for survival, or that it will bring us inner peace and love, which we all desire so much.
Our minds are constantly on a search for a better, different and more exciting life. Every day we are looking for ways and shortcuts so that our lives could be as least unpredictable, painless and with as few unpleasant experiences as possible.
We are doing everything in our power to avoid pain, discomfort, fear and guilt which are buried deep within us, covered with many layers of ego defenses. As a result, we fill our lives with a variety of distraction and addictions – trying to fill the gaping hole and run away from ourselves – from our essence, which is the truth.
What do we flee from, what are we trying to avoid?
As I was mentioning before, deep within ourselves, we all carry pain, sadness, anger, fear,.. These feelings are extremely difficult and very intimidating in its original (raw) form. We are not aware of them, since most of these feelings are deep in our unconscious. Usually, only a small part of this feelings swims up on the surface of our consciousness, which we are trying to avoid and suppress back into the unconscious.
We do this in variety of different ways. Each of us chooses his or her “popular” form – such as sex, masturbation, social networks, work, travel, games, drugs, shopping, alcohol,.. All of these forms are neutral by themselves – so it all depends on the purpose for which it is given to each of these individual activities.
This world certainly does not disappoint in offering a variety of different options to suppress our negative emotions. Common goal to all addictions is: never to return to silence and remember who I (we) really am (are)!
We are constantly striving to be somewhere else, just not where we are now, here, in this moment, because only in the silence of this moment we can meet ourselves. And by meeting ourselves, we discover we are not this separated, individual selves, limited by a body, but limitless spirit, forever connected to everybody and everything.
But since we don’t want to give up this false identity (which ego calls freedom !?!), we will do anything to avoid the silence and peace of this moment and rather stay in this illusory reality of false, distracting thoughts, even if we continue to experience suffering of any kind.
So the ego doesn’t want us to meet ourselves, because then we would recognize the truth about our real nature and that would end our belief in the illusion of this world and with that, all the noisy thoughts, that are telling us we are not perfect and not enough – therefore we are running from one thing to another, from one partner to another, buying all sorts of things we don’t need – from one addiction to another.
Forgetting that avoiding pain doesn’t work
Of course, any kind of suppression, avoidance of truth and clinging to all sorts of addictions doesn’t bring us so desired peace and happiness. Our mind has this “special ability” that when another such fail attempt happens, we quickly forget the situation and already focus on a new one, thinking that this time it will be better we say to ourselves: “I just need to fix this and that, do a little bit better next time and then it will work or she/he will like me and happiness will come.”
It seems like we forget that we had this same thoughts in all previous thousand and more attempts.
We usually stop ourselves only when fear, anxiety or disease condition of the body become intolerable. We are then compelled to look at all this “problems” differently – with a completely different perspective than we have been accustomed to so far.
From Distractions to Silence
When our lives become filled with pain and suffering, when we have nothing more in the outside world which we could hold on to, when we become tired and exhausted from running away from ourselves – then we say to ourselves: “There must be another way!”
“Tolerance for pain maybe high, but it is not without limit.” ~ ACIM
At that point we are able to let some light in our minds and start a return journey to that silent, peaceful center within us, because then we realize that nothing external can replace our inner calling for love.
At first, this silence seems threatening, since the truth announces the disappearance of our false self, with which we identified all this time. This period is definitely not easy, as our ego tries to convince us in a various ingenious ways that he is still our best ally, and is trying to get us back to the old ways of believing, following and acting on every thought that gets in our mind.
However, if we persist, sooner or later the peace and quiet of this moment becomes much more satisfying and joyful, then egos “toys” of attacks, anger, sadness, guilt,.. Non judgmental observation of these negative emotions and thoughts is the key to their dispelling.
You figure out in reality they don’t exist, only when you allow yourself, in the silence of the present moment to fully feel all this pain – without judging or interpreting it – in whatever form that comes to you. That’s how you discover it is not real – that it’s just a result of you imagination and false beliefs.
If there is one thing I would emphasize over and over again, it would be: don’t judge yourself of anything – your feelings, emotions, your thoughts and your past actions. Don’t fight with them. Just observe them. They will go.
Now we begin to slowly peel off ego defenses – bit by bit we come closer to the very center of our true, infinite being, which was there all the time, hidden underneath our darkened mind.
With the gradual understanding and experiencing the truth, we are less and less interested in ego lies about lack, deprivation, fight for our place in this world, justifying an attack on a fellow human being and ultimately lies about our true identity, which is not limited by time and space, but is limitless and timeless spirit.
“Spirit is in a state of grace forever.
Your reality is only spirit.
Therefore you are in a state of grace forever.” ~ ACIM
Feel the Silence…